TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO BE ON THE MSN HOMEPAGE

Fame, we all want it but how do we become famous? Every day, I wake up a loser. Somebody has to pay. My total YouTube hits 80…and that took 5 years. No likes and only 79 dislikes. Thanks Arabdancer92 for not disliking, smiley face wink. If you really want to know how to become famous, you need to be on the homepage of MSN.com. How do you do that? You need to be a baby squirrel-or a pit bull posing with baby chicks. Guess how many YouTube hits? 20 million in 24 hours. Kim K’s Ass is always a top mover on the MSN homepage…TO BE FAMOUS…I need pets and ass. 

So here is my worldwide debut of “Pets and Ass”. This music video has all the right ingredients for the discerning public who can never get enough “Pets and Ass”!

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO SEND A RACIST TWEET

My piano teacher always told me to practice the piano everyday and I would be famous. Wrongo! Most of us don’t know the names of the world’s top piano players. That’s because the discerning public has determined through YouTube that Fatso, the “Keyboard Cat”, is the second coming of Mozart. Screw years of studying to be a musician or an actor. Social Media is all you need. TO BE FAMOUS I need to Tweet something racist. Lisa Lampanelli can say the N-word on stage and make millions. But tweeting something racist, stupid Moses, why didn’t you tell us about the 11^th commandment; “Thou shall not tweet about the blacks”.

If an unknown woman, Justine Sacco, can send one racist tweet and go from obscurity to famous in a matter of hours, then I’m the Klan’s new Grand Wizard in charge of social media. Sure Justine lost her job, her Twitter account, was globally criticized and had to apologize. But now she is FAMOUS! There’s no such thing as bad publicity.

So here I go trying to get attention by stirring up a little rage. I just want a little publicity, good, bad, just publicity. I’m continuing my racist tweets week by week until I cover the Trifecta; Mexicans, Blacks and Jews. Tune in next week when I tweet about those savages…I mean Redskins!