Tag Archives: Smeagol

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO BE ON THE MSN HOMEPAGE

Fame, we all want it but how do we become famous? Every day, I wake up a loser. Somebody has to pay. My total YouTube hits 80…and that took 5 years. No likes and only 79 dislikes. Thanks Arabdancer92 for not disliking, smiley face wink. If you really want to know how to become famous, you need to be on the homepage of MSN.com. How do you do that? You need to be a baby squirrel-or a pit bull posing with baby chicks. Guess how many YouTube hits? 20 million in 24 hours. Kim K’s Ass is always a top mover on the MSN homepage…TO BE FAMOUS…I need pets and ass. 
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So here is my worldwide debut of “Pets and Ass”. This music video has all the right ingredients for the discerning public who can never get enough “Pets and Ass”!

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TO BE FAMOUS…MY PARENTS NEED TO BE TRAIN-WRECKS

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Just what is a train-wreck? It’s a celebrity who has gone off the deep end. When a celebrity screws up, we can’t stop watching. Sometimes, if you’re really lucky, you can witness “generations” of train-wrecks. Parents will pimp their kids to Hollywood for reality shows, endorsements and financial gains. I wish! Why couldn’t my parents be train-wrecks and pimp me out to Hollywood so I could be famous?

When I was young, I was a cute boy which means I was perfect for Michael Jackson. Mama Lopez should’ve sent me to Michael’s slumber party but instead she did the “right thing” and sent me to school. Now, I work at Sonic and nobody knows me.

So here are the parents and “mommygers” of Hollywood we can’t get enough of.
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Dina Lohan:

No talent, no worries! Learn how to turn a wardrobe malfunction or a DUI into Hollywood GOLD! –Start today at the college of Dina Lohan.

 

Billy Ray Cyrus: 

“I made a mistake with Miley. I let Disney use her and I really didn’t make any money. They ruined her life so I wish I could take that back…..why do you ask? Does Disney want to renegotiate?”

 

Kris Jenner: 

“I’m getting Kim into the auto industry. Her new “K-Kar” will be just like her; no real appeal, upgrades or amenities. Just a HUGE trunk!!”

 

June Thompson, (Honey Boo Boo’s Mama): 

“I reckon Honey Boo Boo and me can get naked and dance on stage like two pole cats but y’all mind if we wear matchn’ tiaras?”

So hopefully you enjoyed this addition of train-wrecks. Remember, there is no shortage of train-wrecks out there so stay tuned and find out what it takes…TO BE FAMOUS!

TO BE FAMOUS… I NEED TO CHANGE MY LOOK

To stay famous, celebrities need to change their look. With the turn of a new year, most of us have vowed to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle. Celebrities are awesome at losing weight. In Hollywood, size 0 is for a fat ass! Just look at Angelina Jolie below; trying to lose another 5lbs for the upcoming Oscars. Here is another installment and exclusive look at how celebrities stay awesome by changing their look.


PLEASE, OH GOD, PLEASE! THE OSCARS ARE IN FEBRUARY! I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!” –ANGELINA JOLIE

ANNE HATHAWAY- Anne Hathaway is a true professional devoted to the art of her craft. She has just been nominated for best supporting actor for her hooker role in Les Misberables. Yes, playing a hooker might be second nature for Anne Hathaway but she also lost 16 pounds in 3 weeks by just eating 2 apples a day. But how skinny is too skinny? Don’t be silly. Too skinny would mean hair loss, Osteoporosis/bone loss, aging of face and wrinkles…..none of which is evident below. As a matter of fact, Anne is currently playing Smeagol in the new Hobbit Movie. Good luck at the Oscars Anne Smeagolway, I hope there are apples at the after party.

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Stay tuned for more great transformations as we study celebrities and how….TO BE FAMOUS!