Tag Archives: Selena Gomez


Disney has fooled every 11-year-old girl into thinking they can be a princess. Get real Disney. Stop lying to our youth. Be honest; there are only a couple of princess positions available and that commoner, Kate “the streaker” Middleton, has taken one. If our kids keep reaching for the stars, they are just going to stab their little fingers on all those sharp points.


I too fell for the Disney promise. I tried for every role in every Disney film and was always beat out by the next Zac Efron, Selena Gomez or Lindsay Lohan. I finally landed a supporting role with Nicholas Cage. Okay, I sold him a churro.

The only jobs Disney hired me for were to sell churros and work in a cube for eight hours a day with no direct sunlight. Every day, as my spine collapsed and I basked under the florescent lights, was another day I would never be a princess. How in the HELL would I ever get a personal day off to go to the ball? The only happily ever after I ever got were my two 15-minute breaks. So screw you Disney! I know you’re always listening to me. So here is a video that hopefully will get me a princess role which will help me….TO BE FAMOUS!