Tag Archives: Michael Jackson

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO ROOFIE EVERYONE

 Bill Cosby Roofie Games

Do you think the new Miss Universe, Paulina Vega, wants a Jell-O pudding pop? Boooooorrrring! But she definitely wants to attend Bill Cosby’s new foundation, “Doped Drinks For The Deceivable”! I was a fool to idolize Evel Knievel when I could’ve been slinging loaded lemonade.  

Bill Cosby Sesame Street

Fame doesn’t come from doing what is right. Just look at what Kim K’s famous fat ass was able to afford Bruce Jenner; a sex change! Oh yeah, and more fame. The unconscious could have made me famous. Macaulay Culkin may have cock-blocked me from my chance to get famous at a Michael Jackson slumber party but I’m ready for a coked out Coke and a smile. Forget-me pills, date rape drug, mind-erasers, Mexican valium? More like…TO BE FAMOUS PILLS!

Advertisements

TO BE FAMOUS… I NEED TO CHANGE MY LOOK

021514_2040_TOBEFAMOUSI1.png

To stay famous, celebrities need to change their look. Bruce Jenner has hit headlines in recent weeks with his Adam’s apple reduction surgery, midlife crisis behavior and his ‘Michael Jackson-like obsession’ with going under the knife.

Our ‘bob-rocking’ 64 year old former Olympian is not sick of Hollywood; he’s just getting started. Our Wheaties queen is gearing up for his biggest role ever; Caesar the talking chimpanzee in the upcoming Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. “When I found out Chimpanzees don’t have an Adam’s apple, I underwent surgery and read for the part. If those talentless Kardashians can make over $40 million for being nothing more than down-ass bitches for thugs; just wait until I rock this Caesar thing!”

As for the ‘Michael Jackson-Like obsession’ with plastic surgery, Caesar Jenner is hoping to play Bubbles in the upcoming Michael Jackson documentary.

Stay tuned for more great transformations as we study celebrities and how….TO BE FAMOUS!

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET

After 12 years in the NBA, Jason Collins was never an All-Star. But just two short weeks after Jason admitted he liked “Brown-Stars” he was given his first award for courage by the gay-straight alliance group. More importantly, he came out of the closet and now he is famous.

Michael Jackson has been dead for nearly four years and every time somebody claims to have escaped Mike’s closet, they get famous. Damn my parents for not sending me to Michael’s closet. Or….maybe they did? Maybe it’s time I got famous and came out of the closet.

TO BE FAMOUS… I NEED TO CHANGE MY LOOK

Famous actors are awesome and stay awesome by changing their look. It’s their biggest asset and makes them extremely marketable. Sure you can memorize your lines but at the end of the day, YOU’RE JUST YOU. Here, let me give you some examples of actors who DON’T SUCK:

CARROT-TOP- WOW! Carrot Top is so diverse he can play Liono the Thundercat, Beeker from The Muppets, The Mad Hatter, Raggedy Andy, Wilma from The Flinstones, Jessica Rabbit or any one of the Jokers from Batman.

MICHAEL JACKSON- A true professional even in 2012. Sure, as Jack the Pumpkin King, his look is similar but he continues his celebrity status as a great singer.

KENNY ROGERS- True, we should’ve stopped talking about Kenny Rogers in the 80’s. But he is too good! Now with his always alert eyes and smile; you can’t help but sing “The Gambler”.

I can go on and on but you know what to do. If you want to stop sucking then change your look. Megan Fox was already hot but now……she is a living, breathing inflatable sex doll! Very Marketable and FAMOUS!

MICHAEL JACKSON AND MICKEY ROURKE, BEFORE AND AFTER PLASTIC SURGERY.