Tag Archives: Kim K

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO ROOFIE EVERYONE

 Bill Cosby Roofie Games

Do you think the new Miss Universe, Paulina Vega, wants a Jell-O pudding pop? Boooooorrrring! But she definitely wants to attend Bill Cosby’s new foundation, “Doped Drinks For The Deceivable”! I was a fool to idolize Evel Knievel when I could’ve been slinging loaded lemonade.  

Bill Cosby Sesame Street

Fame doesn’t come from doing what is right. Just look at what Kim K’s famous fat ass was able to afford Bruce Jenner; a sex change! Oh yeah, and more fame. The unconscious could have made me famous. Macaulay Culkin may have cock-blocked me from my chance to get famous at a Michael Jackson slumber party but I’m ready for a coked out Coke and a smile. Forget-me pills, date rape drug, mind-erasers, Mexican valium? More like…TO BE FAMOUS PILLS!

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO FIND TRUE LOVE


Kimye has graced the front cover of vogue to display Hollywood love that we have not seen since Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler in GONE WITH THE WIND. “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a Damn” is a popular quote from Rhett Butler but does it really compare to the Hallmark quotes of Kanye? “I don’t know what’s better, gettn’ laid or gettn’ paid”, thanks Kanye, that Kim K is one lucky bitch.

Speaking of Hallmark moments: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinski”, thanks Bill Clinton. One of my favorites: “Twist, you guys wasn’t gettin’ paid to leave the dogs babysittin’ the sheep while you stem the rose”, thanks BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN.

Speaking of BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN…James Franco and Seth Rogan need a tent of their own. These two flamers keep hiding their rainbow behind “spoofs” when they are actually more in love than Kimye.


Americans love public displays of Hollywood love. It influences all aspects of our lives. I always roll the last meatball to my bitch, sorry, date. Rhianna loves herself with selfies and Chris Brown loves to beat her. I need to publically display love just like Kim K did with her sex tape. That is how…TO BE FAMOUS!

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO BE ON THE MSN HOMEPAGE

Fame, we all want it but how do we become famous? Every day, I wake up a loser. Somebody has to pay. My total YouTube hits 80…and that took 5 years. No likes and only 79 dislikes. Thanks Arabdancer92 for not disliking, smiley face wink. If you really want to know how to become famous, you need to be on the homepage of MSN.com. How do you do that? You need to be a baby squirrel-or a pit bull posing with baby chicks. Guess how many YouTube hits? 20 million in 24 hours. Kim K’s Ass is always a top mover on the MSN homepage…TO BE FAMOUS…I need pets and ass. 
040213_0119_TOBEFAMOUSI1.png

So here is my worldwide debut of “Pets and Ass”. This music video has all the right ingredients for the discerning public who can never get enough “Pets and Ass”!

TO BE FAMOUS… I NEED TO CHANGE MY LOOK

021514_2040_TOBEFAMOUSI1.png

To stay famous, celebrities need to change their look. Bruce Jenner has hit headlines in recent weeks with his Adam’s apple reduction surgery, midlife crisis behavior and his ‘Michael Jackson-like obsession’ with going under the knife.

Our ‘bob-rocking’ 64 year old former Olympian is not sick of Hollywood; he’s just getting started. Our Wheaties queen is gearing up for his biggest role ever; Caesar the talking chimpanzee in the upcoming Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. “When I found out Chimpanzees don’t have an Adam’s apple, I underwent surgery and read for the part. If those talentless Kardashians can make over $40 million for being nothing more than down-ass bitches for thugs; just wait until I rock this Caesar thing!”

As for the ‘Michael Jackson-Like obsession’ with plastic surgery, Caesar Jenner is hoping to play Bubbles in the upcoming Michael Jackson documentary.

Stay tuned for more great transformations as we study celebrities and how….TO BE FAMOUS!

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO SEND A RACIST TWEET

If Steve Martin tweets, his 4.5 million fans laugh. If he tweets something racist, the whole world notices. Controversy equals attention and there is no such thing as bad publicity. To be famous….I need to send a racist tweet.

011814_1634_TOBEFAMOUSI1.jpg

Sure…many formulas work to garner high volumes of attention. Adding booze to a Lohan, adding Kanye to Kim K, adding steroids to A Rod but adding racism to social media…FAMOUS! Just look at all the attention the interracial Cheerios commercial is getting on Facebook and YouTube. So I too shall follow the yellow brick road to fame and tweet about Mexicans, Jews and Blacks? Oh my! Racist Tweet, what Mexicans Look Like Getting gas

TACO SHELL=MEXICAN GAS STATION WHICH IS A GAS CAN AND A SIPHONING HOSE.

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO DIE.

Dying to be famous? Meeeeee toooooooooo! Paul Walker is getting more attention and fame in death than in life. Why? Because he was a pop culture icon. He will be remembered for eternity as part of America’s greatest cultural achievement, Fast and Furious. HGTV’s co host of Curb Appeal, Bill Beckwith, recently crashed his motorcycle in San Francisco and died. Unfortunately, his show didn’t have enough naked babes, explosions and fast cars so; never heard of him. Now if the bachelor died…..he would be immortalized in American history books.

121413_0340_TOBEFAMOUSI1.png

Great people are always remembered for their accomplishments. Leonardo da Vinci will be remembered as a Renaissance Man. Impressionism could not have taken place without the works of Manet, Monet and Van Gogh. Mankind will remember the culture, achievements and advancements of the 21st century through great people like Snookie, Kim K and the Bachelor. Screw Captain America, Paul Walker is the new American Hero and getting more ass than ever!
121413_0340_TOBEFAMOUSI2.png
Terrorists, Obama Health Care, Fiscal Cliff and the “Bad” Korea, (North or South), not sure and I don’t really care because the 17th season of the Bachelor is underway. GAWD, I need to be the next bachelor, create a charity and DIE TO BE FAMOUS!

ENCHANTED KARDASHIAN MOMEMTS

Kimye Bouquet
Kim is an inspiration to all Fame Whores.

Just make a sex tape and the world is yours.

No talent, No worries! You don’t need acting class.

Fame is popping out a titty or showing yo fat ass.

Wardrobe malfunctions, reality shows and annoying chatter.

Kimye is now pregnant and showing but the ass is STILL fatter.

Damn Hollywood and America for thinking you’re beauties.

Greasing every club door to squeeze in your big booties.

I hear you are moving to London, I hope all goes well.

Since you’ve banged the whole NBA and all the NFL.

Does London have ballers, rappers and the like.

Wait! A sex tape with Prince Harry Keeps you in the spotlight.