Tag Archives: humorousImage
Do you think the new Miss Universe, Paulina Vega, wants a Jell-O pudding pop? Boooooorrrring! But she definitely wants to attend Bill Cosby’s new foundation, “Doped Drinks For The Deceivable”! I was a fool to idolize Evel Knievel when I could’ve been slinging loaded lemonade.
Fame doesn’t come from doing what is right. Just look at what Kim K’s famous fat ass was able to afford Bruce Jenner; a sex change! Oh yeah, and more fame. The unconscious could have made me famous. Macaulay Culkin may have cock-blocked me from my chance to get famous at a Michael Jackson slumber party but I’m ready for a coked out Coke and a smile. Forget-me pills, date rape drug, mind-erasers, Mexican valium? More like…TO BE FAMOUS PILLS!
I always try and wake-up like Uncle Grandpa with a good attitude and say “good morning”! I realize I am not Mexican enough for Hollywood and always get typecast as a docile Hawaiian boy holding a bag of C & H Sugar.
If the producers of Robocop wanted to cast me as RoboHawaiianBoy; then hell yeah, I’m in. Miley Cyrus would be happy to be RoboSkank! Because you need to be flexible…TO BE FAMOUS!
To stay famous, celebrities need to change their look. Justin Bieber may have started as a sweet, little Canadian hoser singing in his bathroom but he has transformed into the duchiest of all douchebags! Thanks Usher! The Biebs was arrested in the wee hours of January 23, 2014 in Miami when he was caught drag racing his Lamborghini and if that wasn’t enough, he was thrown in the slammer on suspicion of DUI as well, since he admitted to smoking pot and consuming alcohol and prescription pills.
Sheriff Joe Arpaio only focuses on the bad/Southern American border because the good/Northern border spat out our little Biebs, (and Pam Anderson’s big, fake, used Juggies). Mexicans can only maintain your landscape, Biebs can piss his initials in your front yard, egg your home and terrorize your kids while driving 100 miles an hour through your neighborhood. Screw oil from Iraq, we have the Biebs from Canada!
Biebs will eventually morph into the Drag Queen Dennis Rodman. Out of the closet, tattooed from head to toe, pierced, burnt out, starting a war with North Korea and in rehab. The Biebs proves that even if your music sucks, you need to Belieb and transform into the biggest douche in all douchebaggery. TO BE FAMOUS…I need Usher to sign me, transform into a douchebag and have 50 million DLiebers.
Stay tuned for more great transformations as we study celebrities and how….TO BE FAMOUS!
Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon went “swimming” in Hawaii and photos of the white trash playing white trash tonsil jockey went viral. Sure Rick’s johnson also went “viral” but look at all the attention he is getting.
So will Pammy “swim” with you? Hell yeah! Since Baywatch, that’s really all our tattooed, silicone burn-out has done. She has slept with everyone. Pam will not only keep you in the spotlight, but she’ll put you in the clinic as well. Just look at
David Spade, Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, Bret Michaels, Arsenio Hall, Kid Rock, Fred Durst, Stephen Dorff……..it would be easier to tell you who our porno queen hasn’t slept with.
So if you want to be famous, as I do, swimming will keep you irrelevant, but swimming with Pam Anderson……FAMOUS! Sure you can be a Killer-Whale trainer at SeaWorld and spare yourself the STD’s and Hepatitis C.
Time machines can fix mistakes. Marty McFly, please don’t let Kris Jenner and Robert Kardashian kiss at the high school dance.
Mel Gibson says, “We must be tolerant of all religions… just not the Jews.”
Lindsay Lohan keeps the tabloids on their toes, like a midget at a urinal.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Miley Cyrus is a schizophrenic, and so is Hannah Montana.
Hey Kim Jong Un: fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. Just look at Tom Arnold.
The last time John Travolta was in a woman was when he visited the Statue of Liberty.
Andy Dick proves you are what you eat.
Now that Roger Ebert is gone, here is some movie advice: If “The Rock” is in it, thumbs down.
If you are not happy with yourself, be brave and change yourself like Chaz Bono.
Don’t worry Amanda Bynes, You will find love. When woman go wrong, men go right after them.
Britney Spears, in order to meet someone as special as you, I hang out at the bowling alley.
Low Lying fruit and Lindsay Lohan have a lot in common: Cheap, easy to get, and bruised.