Tag Archives: funny pictures

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO ROOFIE EVERYONE

 Bill Cosby Roofie Games

Do you think the new Miss Universe, Paulina Vega, wants a Jell-O pudding pop? Boooooorrrring! But she definitely wants to attend Bill Cosby’s new foundation, “Doped Drinks For The Deceivable”! I was a fool to idolize Evel Knievel when I could’ve been slinging loaded lemonade.  

Bill Cosby Sesame Street

Fame doesn’t come from doing what is right. Just look at what Kim K’s famous fat ass was able to afford Bruce Jenner; a sex change! Oh yeah, and more fame. The unconscious could have made me famous. Macaulay Culkin may have cock-blocked me from my chance to get famous at a Michael Jackson slumber party but I’m ready for a coked out Coke and a smile. Forget-me pills, date rape drug, mind-erasers, Mexican valium? More like…TO BE FAMOUS PILLS!

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TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO BE FLEXIBLE

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I always try and wake-up like Uncle Grandpa with a good attitude and say “good morning”! I realize I am not Mexican enough for Hollywood and always get typecast as a docile Hawaiian boy holding a bag of C & H Sugar.

If the producers of Robocop wanted to cast me as RoboHawaiianBoy; then hell yeah, I’m in. Miley Cyrus would be happy to be RoboSkank! Because you need to be flexible…TO BE FAMOUS!

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO OVERCOME ADVERSITY

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Celebrities overcome a multitude of adversities to stay famous. Poor Amanda Bynes went crazy and still manages to tweet random gibberish to stay in the spotlight. Yeah Tom Cruise was raised by aliens but pretending to be a human has made him a great actor.

TIGER WOODS:

Tiger lost everything due to his sex addiction. Now he is back on top of his golf game and every floozy he can hit. Okay so maybe texting is not the best way for Tiger to holla at his ho’s. Not his fault if a plane flies by with his room number.

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JESUS CHRIST:

Jesus is perhaps the most famous and recognized celebrity. He was persecuted, killed and STILL rose to the challenge. Thanks for overcoming adversity and giving us Easter Jesus! To this day, Jesus forgives all and leads by example. Mel Gibson should take a page from the “Jesus playbook”.

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO CHEAT

Celebrities achieve and maintain fame in many different ways. An Oscar for best supporting actor or maybe even a memorable performance can always help elevate a celebrity’s star status. But CHEATING! That is what will make you FAMOUS!

How do you cheat to gain fame? It’s easy. Just ask Tiger Woods. Texting every hood rat for a bootie call took him from a well-known athlete to famous. Arnold Schwarzenegger entered his maid and the spotlight when he cheated on Maria Shriver.

Lance Armstrong is no exception. Sure we all know him for his Tour De France medals and single nut. But once we learned he doped and cheated; he became famous. So famous that Oprah called him her single greatest interview! Way to “Ball-Up” Lance. We all have learned a valuable lesson; if you want to be famous, you need to cheat and go “Ball Deep”.

TO BE FAMOUS… I NEED TO CHANGE MY LOOK

To stay famous, celebrities need to change their look. With the turn of a new year, most of us have vowed to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle. Celebrities are awesome at losing weight. In Hollywood, size 0 is for a fat ass! Just look at Angelina Jolie below; trying to lose another 5lbs for the upcoming Oscars. Here is another installment and exclusive look at how celebrities stay awesome by changing their look.


PLEASE, OH GOD, PLEASE! THE OSCARS ARE IN FEBRUARY! I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!” –ANGELINA JOLIE

ANNE HATHAWAY- Anne Hathaway is a true professional devoted to the art of her craft. She has just been nominated for best supporting actor for her hooker role in Les Misberables. Yes, playing a hooker might be second nature for Anne Hathaway but she also lost 16 pounds in 3 weeks by just eating 2 apples a day. But how skinny is too skinny? Don’t be silly. Too skinny would mean hair loss, Osteoporosis/bone loss, aging of face and wrinkles…..none of which is evident below. As a matter of fact, Anne is currently playing Smeagol in the new Hobbit Movie. Good luck at the Oscars Anne Smeagolway, I hope there are apples at the after party.

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Stay tuned for more great transformations as we study celebrities and how….TO BE FAMOUS!