Tag Archives: David Hasselhoff

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO CHANGE MY LOOK

To stay famous, celebrities need to change their look. MEGAN FOX is not a great American actress known for her dramatic abilities. She only got famous by showing her belly, butt, boobs and all other parts in multiple poses bending over everything in The Transformers.

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I want to be valued. I am more than a pose. I am more than just an image or body parts.” –Megan Fox

Esquire Magazine recently interviewed our sex symbol and apparently, she wants to be taken seriously as an actor. “It all happened so fast being typecast in the sex symbol role. I felt powerless. I was an image. I was a……” I’m sorry. Did you say something Megan bootie-luscious? I was staring at all of your parts. Just like every teenage boy has you as a screensaver. Just like every middle-aged man puts you in his “Wank-Bank” for shower time. Now if you would please, Shut-it and Bend-it!

Megan will be taken seriously as an actor when Pamela Anderson wins an Oscar for Best Actress. Megan’s recent role as, you guessed it, a sex symbol in Judd Apatow’s This Is 40 is confirmation she has joined the ranks of Carmen Electra, Marilyn Monroe and David Hasselhoff. Megan stated in her Esquire interview, “I will embrace my sex symbol status and make it work for me.” Megan has seen more knives than Lance Burton’s assistant. Sex symbol transformation complete! The Megan “FOX-HOLES” Doll is proof that celebrities must change their look to stay awesome.


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Stay tuned for more great transformations as we study celebrities and how….TO BE FAMOUS!

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TO BE FAMOUS…..I NEED TO BE IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME

Instead of focusing on my acting and networking, I need to engage in public displays of foolish behavior….TO BE FAMOUS. When In-N-Out Burger asks, “are you going to be eating in your car?” I will answer “Of course not. I will be eating on the floor with a bottle of Jack while my daughter uploads the video to You Tube.”

Why have sex for free? I can earn money while having sex with a celebrity! This kills two birds with one stone and I gain fame.

I love football so streaking at an NFL Game will launch my career faster than winning America’s Got Talent. Plus, it will work off the beer and nachos that are mandatory at any sporting event.

EVERYONE loves Kim and Kanye. Now they can love me too, as I strategically place my face in their paparazzi shot. Otherwise, the only way I can afford headshots is to smile real big as I run a red light.
TO BE FAMOUS-DANIEL LOPEZ NEED TO BE IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME.