Tag Archives: Coon-Dawg

TO BE FAMOUS… I NEED TO CHANGE MY LOOK

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To stay famous, celebrities need to change their look. Amanda Bynes, what in the hell happened?!? From Maxim Magazine in 2010 to Amanda “Coon Dawg” Bynes just a few years later, our little Nickelodeon Princess has had meltdown after meltdown. She has kept the media busier than a 3-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a marble floor.

Yes, our little druggy has tweeted psychotically for Drake to murder her lady parts, shaven her head, pierced her cheeks, earned DUI’s, wrecked her cars and was just arrested last night for smoking a bong in the lobby of her New York Apartment!! What an idiot? Yes but she is a famous idiot! Amanda has reached Train Wreck Status! Lindsay Lohan has trained you well. Willie Nelson would be proud. Way to stay in the spotlight and I can’t wait to see Amanda “Coon Dawg” Bynes in the next issue of Maxim.

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Stay tuned for more great transformations as we study celebrities and how….TO BE FAMOUS!

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TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED A SEX TAPE

Let’s face it…for any celebrity to really be famous, you need a sex tape. Hulk Hogan was a faded ghost of a memory until his leaked sex tape. Sure we know Miss America and Miss Teen USA exists but we have no idea who they are. Melissa King, Miss Delaware Teen USA, was forced to give up her tiara but making amateur porn made her famous! Youporn has offered her $250,000 to make a porno, Charlie Sheen has offered to make King one of his goddesses and Woody Allen said Soon Yi is too old and needs a new “daughter”.

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So in an attempt to be famous, Coon-Dawg is making his first sex tape, Coon-Dawg Style! You are in for a real treat as Coon-Dawg doesn’t want a sex tape with one of em’ nudie bar pole cats or even his toad squirrel, Starlene. Coon-Dawg loves largemouth bass with lipstick, literally.

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED MY OWN LIQUOR

The smart and famous celebrities are always looking for ways to stay in the spotlight. From P. Diddy to Dan Aykroyd, celebrities are getting into the liquor business. Real Housewife, Bethenny Frankel, is famous for her liquor brand “Skinnygirl”. She invented and sold the “Skinnygirl” brand for millions. Chris Brown turned his talents of abuse towards some grapes, (guess they resembled Rihanna), and got into the wine business.

So here is my attempt to get out from underneath the warming lights and into the spotlight. This video is my first liquor commercial featuring “BEAN-R BEER®-It’s always fun and games until somebody gets pregnant”. The video features Uncle Pancho, Coon-Dawg and Daniel Lopez. Because we all love “BEAN-R BEER®” and we all want TO BE FAMOUS!