Tag Archives: Chris Brown

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO FIND TRUE LOVE


Kimye has graced the front cover of vogue to display Hollywood love that we have not seen since Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler in GONE WITH THE WIND. “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a Damn” is a popular quote from Rhett Butler but does it really compare to the Hallmark quotes of Kanye? “I don’t know what’s better, gettn’ laid or gettn’ paid”, thanks Kanye, that Kim K is one lucky bitch.

Speaking of Hallmark moments: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinski”, thanks Bill Clinton. One of my favorites: “Twist, you guys wasn’t gettin’ paid to leave the dogs babysittin’ the sheep while you stem the rose”, thanks BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN.

Speaking of BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN…James Franco and Seth Rogan need a tent of their own. These two flamers keep hiding their rainbow behind “spoofs” when they are actually more in love than Kimye.


Americans love public displays of Hollywood love. It influences all aspects of our lives. I always roll the last meatball to my bitch, sorry, date. Rhianna loves herself with selfies and Chris Brown loves to beat her. I need to publically display love just like Kim K did with her sex tape. That is how…TO BE FAMOUS!

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TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED MY OWN LIQUOR

The smart and famous celebrities are always looking for ways to stay in the spotlight. From P. Diddy to Dan Aykroyd, celebrities are getting into the liquor business. Real Housewife, Bethenny Frankel, is famous for her liquor brand “Skinnygirl”. She invented and sold the “Skinnygirl” brand for millions. Chris Brown turned his talents of abuse towards some grapes, (guess they resembled Rihanna), and got into the wine business.

So here is my attempt to get out from underneath the warming lights and into the spotlight. This video is my first liquor commercial featuring “BEAN-R BEER®-It’s always fun and games until somebody gets pregnant”. The video features Uncle Pancho, Coon-Dawg and Daniel Lopez. Because we all love “BEAN-R BEER®” and we all want TO BE FAMOUS!

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED A VIRAL YOU TUBE VIDEO

My You Tube videos are as forgotten and ignored as Mitt Romney’s presidential hopes. But apparently, millions of hits will get Bieber’s agents to contact you. Just as they have contacted the South Korean Artist PSY. His You Tube Video, “Gangnam Style”, has more hits than Rhianna after a night out with Chris Brown. PSY has even surpassed the mighty Justin Bieber’s popular You Tube Video, “Baby”.

So it’s simple: Viral You Tube video + new contract=FAME!

Although I actually enjoyed Psy’s “Gangnam Style” video, I really hate cats. Why cats? Because each year You Tube Videos of cats get billions of hits and go viral. I can’t believe the amount of talentless cats that are stealing my spotlight: The OMG Cat, The Keyboard Playing Cat, Maru, Nora the piano playing cat, Atilla Fluff, The Boxing Kitten and many more.

I would rather drive a Prius to a Justin Beiber concert than see “OMG the cat” run across another keyboard and get a BILLION HITS! I would rather wear a “One Direction Rules!” T-shirt than watch a crazy Korean dance “Gangnam Style” BUT….. I am desperate and will do anything TO BE FAMOUS. So get ready for “OMG Lopez Style”. Can’t beat em’, join em’!


DANIEL LOPEZ SELLS HIS SOUL FOR A VIRAL YOU TUBE VIDEO: "OMG LOPEZ STYLE"