Tag Archives: Charlie Sheen

TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED A SEX TAPE

Let’s face it…for any celebrity to really be famous, you need a sex tape. Hulk Hogan was a faded ghost of a memory until his leaked sex tape. Sure we know Miss America and Miss Teen USA exists but we have no idea who they are. Melissa King, Miss Delaware Teen USA, was forced to give up her tiara but making amateur porn made her famous! Youporn has offered her $250,000 to make a porno, Charlie Sheen has offered to make King one of his goddesses and Woody Allen said Soon Yi is too old and needs a new “daughter”.

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So in an attempt to be famous, Coon-Dawg is making his first sex tape, Coon-Dawg Style! You are in for a real treat as Coon-Dawg doesn’t want a sex tape with one of em’ nudie bar pole cats or even his toad squirrel, Starlene. Coon-Dawg loves largemouth bass with lipstick, literally.

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ENCHANTED LOHAN MOMENTS

Lindz Skywalker carrying Yoda Sheen

Our Disney Darling fell from grace with “un-Disney-like” behavior.

Lindsay has charmed courts, prisons and rehab but none can save her.

DUI’s, lies, theft, drugs, lesbianism, wrecks and the party scene.

LiLo is “Lindz Skywalker” with her new mentor “Yoda Sheen”.

Our troubled redhead was offered a million for a mold of her privates.

The “Fire Crotch Fleshlight” would be a hit and have more tightness.

Our tabloid princess rocks stolen jewelry and alcohol detecting bracelets.

Lindz cries in court and punches rehab workers in their faces.

Lindz Skywalker and Yoda Sheen

From your media-mongering father to your attention loving mother;

It’s no wonder why the “Hot Mess” is always in rehab but never recovers.

In a quote Linz once proclaimed, “yeah, motherfu*%er I’m fine!”

Screw Herbie the Love Bug, I’d much rather see LiLo serve time.

From The Ford Talent Agency to the Betty Ford Clinic,

There is never a tabloid without our little Lindsay in it.