Tag Archives: Amanda Bynes

TO BE FAMOUS… I NEED TO CHANGE MY LOOK

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To stay famous, celebrities need to change their look. Amanda Bynes, what in the hell happened?!? From Maxim Magazine in 2010 to Amanda “Coon Dawg” Bynes just a few years later, our little Nickelodeon Princess has had meltdown after meltdown. She has kept the media busier than a 3-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a marble floor.

Yes, our little druggy has tweeted psychotically for Drake to murder her lady parts, shaven her head, pierced her cheeks, earned DUI’s, wrecked her cars and was just arrested last night for smoking a bong in the lobby of her New York Apartment!! What an idiot? Yes but she is a famous idiot! Amanda has reached Train Wreck Status! Lindsay Lohan has trained you well. Willie Nelson would be proud. Way to stay in the spotlight and I can’t wait to see Amanda “Coon Dawg” Bynes in the next issue of Maxim.

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Stay tuned for more great transformations as we study celebrities and how….TO BE FAMOUS!

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TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO HAVE A MELTDOWN

Celebrities definitely hold our interest, when they do something wrong, go temporarily crazy and have a meltdown. We don’t care about Reese Witherspoon’s ability or range as an actor…BORING! But when she goes postal on the cops, now that shows range!

Celebrities, who are good parents, yawn. Try what Alec Baldwin did and scream at your kid; “you’re a thoughtless little pig”! That meltdown of a voicemail made Alec’s celebrity status hotter than two squirrels screwing in a wool sock! So TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO HAVE A MELTDOWN!

ENCHANTED CELEBRITY MOMENTS

Time machines can fix mistakes. Marty McFly, please don’t let Kris Jenner and Robert Kardashian kiss at the high school dance.

Mel Gibson says, “We must be tolerant of all religions… just not the Jews.”

Lindsay Lohan keeps the tabloids on their toes, like a midget at a urinal.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Miley Cyrus is a schizophrenic, and so is Hannah Montana.

Hey Kim Jong Un: fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. Just look at Tom Arnold.

The last time John Travolta was in a woman was when he visited the Statue of Liberty.

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Andy Dick proves you are what you eat.

Now that Roger Ebert is gone, here is some movie advice: If “The Rock” is in it, thumbs down.

If you are not happy with yourself, be brave and change yourself like Chaz Bono.

Don’t worry Amanda Bynes, You will find love. When woman go wrong, men go right after them.

Britney Spears, in order to meet someone as special as you, I hang out at the bowling alley.

Low Lying fruit and Lindsay Lohan have a lot in common: Cheap, easy to get, and bruised.


TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO OVERCOME ADVERSITY

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Celebrities overcome a multitude of adversities to stay famous. Poor Amanda Bynes went crazy and still manages to tweet random gibberish to stay in the spotlight. Yeah Tom Cruise was raised by aliens but pretending to be a human has made him a great actor.

TIGER WOODS:

Tiger lost everything due to his sex addiction. Now he is back on top of his golf game and every floozy he can hit. Okay so maybe texting is not the best way for Tiger to holla at his ho’s. Not his fault if a plane flies by with his room number.

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JESUS CHRIST:

Jesus is perhaps the most famous and recognized celebrity. He was persecuted, killed and STILL rose to the challenge. Thanks for overcoming adversity and giving us Easter Jesus! To this day, Jesus forgives all and leads by example. Mel Gibson should take a page from the “Jesus playbook”.