I always try and wake-up like Uncle Grandpa with a good attitude and say “good morning”! I realize I am not Mexican enough for Hollywood and always get typecast as a docile Hawaiian boy holding a bag of C & H Sugar.

If the producers of Robocop wanted to cast me as RoboHawaiianBoy; then hell yeah, I’m in. Miley Cyrus would be happy to be RoboSkank! Because you need to be flexible…TO BE FAMOUS!


  1. This deserves a tongue lashing.

  2. LOL! You made me laugh. Flexibility, hmm, I’ll have to think on that.

  3. Funny. However, famous isn’t all that….now flexible on the other hand….that’s something!

  4. I feel you LMFDAO
    I keep thinking maybe one day I’ll get famous for my mommy blog antics…… I was doing the ‘tongue out’ and twerkin before Miley got known for it. How else did I get prego! =P
    Don’t worry, Disney will do another beach movie in Hawaii. You’d fit right in. Surfs up! =P

  5. Know how you feel, but I’m 75 and you got lots more time to get lucky. As a new frustrated author, I think my only way to hit it big is do a fargin hot You Tube video like the Asian giddyap dancing guy PSY and get 60 million hits. Moat of the hits are from underage kids with no money, either to buy my books or your show tickets. Most of the older people w/bread can’t even say the word computer.
    Here’s an idea for you, since proportionally most comedians are/have been Jewish, change your name to Schmulka Bernstein or something catchy like that.
    Keep following and lets figure this mother out!!

  6. Pingback: TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO BE FLEXIBLE | Hard Jam Cafe

  7. and don’t forget that you need to be willing to do commercials no matter what. being willing to have your name and face attached to the logo of some life-denying product is essential to creating your own “brand-name recognition.” hell, it worked for ronald reagan. thanks for liking my latest blog post.

  8. Thanks for stopping by my blog, and I’m grateful that you think I’m awesome. Funny stuff, but be careful what you wish for, you might get it. Then the only way to go is down, baby, down. Better to be a hero in your own little world. That’s my advice, even though you didn’t ask for it.

  9. And here I thought I was the only adult who knew who Uncle Grandpa is. I no longer feel alone. Thanks for following. Keep in touch!

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