How can a sweet mouse named Mickey make you famous? By showing you his PIMP hand! Snoop Dogg, (sorry, Snoop Lion), can’t even compete with the famous ho’s in Mickey’s Harem. Sure Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Miley Ray Cyrus were sweet once but they were nobodies. So if you’re like me and are ready to be famous, you need to be a “Disney Darling”.
Lindsay Lohan has snorted and revealed more crack than Charlie Sheen and his prostitutes on a nude beach. You would have more luck pulling the sword from the stone than trying to pull the crack pipe from Lindsay’s mouth.
Miley Ray Cyrus was a role model as Hannah Montana on The Disney Channel or what I like to call, “Mickey’s Little Whore Factory”. Miley continues to be a role model and has since added to her resume. Her credits include pole dancing, lesbianism, bong smoking, and stripping. She has recently impersonated Justin Beiber with a shaven, crazy new hairdo.
Britney Spears is perhaps the most famous Mouseketeer. The Mickey Mouse Club was Disney’s grassroots, wholesome variety show. Screw a degree from an accredited University, Mickey will give you the tools you need to stay in the tabloids for over a decade. Wow Mickey! I hope you can see that I have “IT” and can be the bestest “Disney Darling” to ever give you a lap-dance and become FAMOUS!!