TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO GO INTO REHAB

The typical celebrity career path:

1. STRUGGLE

2. BREAKTHROUGH

3. FAME

4. STUMBLE

5. IMFAMY

6. DESCENT INTO DRUGS AND BOOZE

7. REHAB

8. D-LIST REALITY TV SHOW.

But Andy Dick, Tom Sizemore and Snooki broke these rules. They started with reality TV and rehab and worked their way back to FAME. Why deal with struggle and breakthrough? Jumpstart your career!
As long as you call me a “STAR”; I don’t care how I got the title. Reality and Rehab are great adjectives to describe my “star status.”

Sure you can go to Julliard and study acting like Kevin Spacey or Val Kilmer but trying to find them in anything but a Denny’s is like the color-blind trying to find Waldo. Robert Downey, Jr. went straight into rehab for the better part of 5 years and has never looked back. He had hit after hit; Iron Man, Sherlock Holmes, Iron Man 2, Due Date, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows and the Avengers.

Don’t like to drink or do drugs? Neither does Tiger Woods but he found a way to realize his dreams of stardom and was accepted into sex rehab!

So stop SUCKING and start being AWESOME! Do like Melanie Griffith and make rehab part of a healthy routine and voluntarily check in every 6 months; it’ll be just like a dental check-up. Except It’ll make you FAMOUS!!!!

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2 responses to “TO BE FAMOUS…I NEED TO GO INTO REHAB

  1. There’s still time for Andy Dick to fall hard again. Kathy Griffin’s biography painted a lovely picture of his mostly illegal “penchants.” P.S., I like how you put the swollen people at the bottom, so they can retain all the water from their peeps above.

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